Updated: Jul 10, 2019
"The therapeutic process involves discovering who you truly are; what motivates you, what inspires you and what holds you back. The aim of therapeutic intervention is to allow you to emerge as your true self without the relentless and burdensome dross under which you have been labouring for so long." (Jacquelyne Morison, Hypnotherapist)
Many years ago I embarked on a journey to understand myself. I was kind of in a waiting room, a purgatory of feelings, I was in no mans land; I knew so many things in my life didn’t balance out or make sense. I’d been brought up in a certain way, of course like all humans, not our choice or of our making, then I was left with a sense of loss, loss of myself, wondering why so many other people saw the world differently, lived their life differently, and I found myself feeling I had to all of a sudden put my game face on to fit in, make friends, work etc and basically survive in the world outside my 2 bedroom flat.
Fortunately, I had a few friends who had been through a similar experience and whilst they hadn't found their own truths, they had at least started their research. With the unintended support and guidance of these few individuals I had found myself in search of reading material to learn more. My search started at the library from witchcraft, cults, religion, culture, psychology; I read & I absorbed.
The facade :
Day to day, like a mask, most people will put on some kind of protective device to get through; different Psychological theorists have their take or terms they use to describe this, but often in therapy I will hear the terms ‘facade’, ‘ I'm putting on an act’, ‘like I’m on stage’, ‘I feel like I’m living in a bubble’, ‘like I’m inside a shell’, & ‘ I put my barriers up’, all of these are so that we can function on a level we feel we need to within the environments we enter.
This facade is there to serve one main purpose, and that is to protect us. It is a persona of ourselves, we feel can represent who we believe we are to those people in the environments we enter. The representation can be born out of how we believe we want others to see us and how we see ourselves, but can be a complex mix and over time the facade can become our very downfall.
The facades can vary depending on the people or situations we enter; however ultimately it is not truly us, and if we take time to reflect on how much energy it takes to put on this act then we can begin to find the key to our own freedom. To be aware of the facade is the first step it can both make us feel separated from ourselves as well as others leaving a feeling of isolation and loneliness, even in the company of others. The energy taken to put on the facade varies on the individual and their circumstances, however, one common factor will be everyone will have a tough time keeping up appearances whether they are aware of it or not.
At some point we will fail and then the world around us as we’ve known it and the world within will be sent into a spin this is often when we need to find a resolution and to begin to discover who we really are....
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